Let's kick off with a three of Patrick Winstanley's funny Valentines poems on the theme of geeks and love. The first is an ideal Valentine poem to ensnare a geek, as it provides a heady mix of romance, humour and html. Ideally it should be sent via email, but if you have to deliver it in person try saying it in a strong West Indian accent, which gives the ~ just the right balance between passion and insistence.
If the geek you've set your sights on is receptive to your romantic advances, you may very well receive an equally baffling valentines poem.
Men are from Mars
If men are from Mars
And Women are from Venus
A martian man's head
Is still ruled by his penis
Sweet Mystery
For Valentines Day
My husband, so sweet
Bought hand made chocolates
For me as a treat
In a flower covered box
Came the delicious confection
But I am at a loss to answer
A most curious question
How can two pounds of chocs
So delicious on the lips
Manage in just one night
To put 5lbs on my hips
BE MY VALENTINE 1
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
BE MY VALENTINE 2
On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"
BE MY VALENTINE 3
On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
BE MY VALENTINE 4
On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
"I love you a ton!"
BE MY VALENTINE 5
On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!
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